Its so hard. I can never seem to understand it. I used to like math but that was back when I could actually do it. Maybe If i stop procrastinating I'd be better at it. It pisses me off when it comes so easy to other people but I have to go seek help from outside sources. I'm going to meet up with a tutor Monday, wednesday, and Friday I've decided to walk me through my homework. I got a C on the first test and I only have points for a couple homework assignments... I'm screwed if I don't get my act together soon. I hate my job now, it just sucks. As soon as I get another one, I'm quitting, except that I can't seem to find anyone hiring except fast food and I am NOT going back there.

*sigh* Best Friend you need to come with me to school.

I'm trying to get back into art but it's expensive. I've spent the last month trying to gather up supplys to try new things in sculpture such as needle felting, polymer, and I'm just getting random things like canvas just in case. Over a months salary has been spent and I still don't have all I need to actually complete something...I would be selling these things of course to make something back hopefully but I don't have TIME.
I have a friend trying to get me into Mary Kay, this months I guess its half off to become a consultant 50$ instead of 100$. I'm seriously considering it but I have some qualms about Mary Kay

1. They preach and preach about becoming an independant women, like we still have it that bad?, but they teaching women to sell make-up so that they have enough time to be a good little house wife and stay at home mom...
2. They say that they're helping women and pushing them to their potential...by buying their overpriced beauty products. Don't you have to convince women that they NEED beauty products in order to be a good salesman? So you basically have to rip on their self esteem a bit. If not you are just making more women buy things that make them "pretty" instead of stating what truly makes them beautiful, the inside.
3. They really try to get you to get a loan to buy an inventory $1000, $2000, $3000 worth! Hell no! You buy their products for half price and sell them for retail. That's hardly a profit and getting a loan will make you pay interest!
4. They say they're not about the money...what a lie!
5. THey make consultants where skirts...further putting a women in her proper place! I have a thing against this, not being given a choice of what you want to wear when you have to PAY to get in. Don't get me wrong, I like dressing up occasionally, but I'd rather wear a dress maybe once or twice, or jeans, or PJs...

Hmmm do i really want to take advantage of womens' insecurities and spend money on products that may or may not sell. It's not all bad. THe makeover parties are pretty fun when you are with friends. My friend is a consultant and the make-over and stuff with her is fun but I wouldn't want a stranger to be there, and that's what you are expected to do. She keeps tellling me you can just do it with your friends and family, but I know most of their financial situations are just as bad if not worse than mine, why would i want to take advantage of that? I would only be doing this for my mother, who is in a LOT of debt, and they keep saying "start there!" like its awesome to take advantage of your family? I still live at home and don't pay a dime for living expenses, why would I want my mom to be paying ME for living at home with her.

I may do it just because when I move to california to go to school for exotic animal training, I won't have a job, I most likely won't have any consistent time for a job and selling mary kay or something would be the only thing I'd be able to do.

I hope God can point me in the right direction.